


Glitch FAQ Patch Notes

by Psiidmon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: If You Are Playing Sburb, Read This If You Want To Live
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-01
Updated: 2012-05-16
Packaged: 2017-11-04 16:08:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psiidmon/pseuds/Psiidmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/GodsGiftToGrinds/pseuds/GodsGiftToGrinds">GodsGiftToGrinds'</a> <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/340777/chapters/551606">Glitch FAQ</a> is a collaborative collection of headcanons, I thought I'd assist by adding and clarifying the things I have brainstormed for my own work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Void dispersal glitch/Title dupe bug

Void dispersal glitch/Title dupe bug

This fairly rare glitch may occur when a Void player is absent from the game world, through entry shenanigans, badly applied time travel or other such mishaps.

What happens is that her aspect can sometimes leak into the Medium and the other players, based on a handful of lines of psuedocode dedicated to telling a short story. Examples follow:

When there's no Rain there is Sand.  
When there's no Sand ice can Flow.  
If you're Mindless you submit to Fate.  
Without Fate, there is Hope.  
If there's no Hope, you are Doomed.  
When Doom disappears, you have more Time.  
When you're outta Time, you're Doomed.  
If you lose all your Coin you're Self reliant.  
Without a Heart you're empty Flesh.  
Rend the Flesh to bare the Heart.  
If you've got no Rhyme you groove to Rage.  
Without Fate you make up your own Mind.  
A Starless sky is full of Space.  
Remove the Space and you're left with Stars.

This glitch can easily bugger up Land, Title and Quest generation. Player maturity pathing is also screwed, and it's called the 'Title Dupe Bug' because in extreme cases can cause more than one Ascention Slab to spawn on a single land. If you're lucky you'll Ascend on the right slab... if not, you'll be bleeding out on the wrong side of the Land.

Due to the nature of Void, it is hard to pin down concrete evidence that the glitch isn't caused by Rainy bullshit. Possible hints follow:

Nobody can recall the exact conditions on your home planet/galaxy/universe without getting mad drunk.  
The Space player's Land hasn't got Frogs in the title.  
The Space player's Land hasn't got frogs.  
A non-Space player has a Land of X and Frogs.  
Any non-Rain player has a Land with more than 2 elements.  
A non-Time player's Land generates Time-Turner grade loot.  
A player with a title that is part of a closed loop (Flesh/Heart, Time/Doom, Fate/Mind, Space/Stars) may be consistantly referred by the wrong aspect.  
A player might be referred to as multiple titles, eg The Knight of Flesh of Heart (happened to a Keykind player I once knew)  
NPCs refer to a player's title get it garbled eg Noun of Bland (Blood/Sand and Nurse/Clown)

Advice: [OFFLINE]


	2. Unpronouncable title glitch

So, you've started playing Sburb. You've read the guides or you're on a replay session and you have a good idea as to your natural powers from early life. Then you hear one or two of your fellow players has both halves of the title you were sure you'd get. That's when your consorts tell you that you're the %^(^%^ of !^&@#!*

This is because the game is trying to meet an arbritary title limit - from a bit of research and utilizing a technique called Cussword Puzzling, we've managed to come up with a theory. Most non-garbled titles and aspects have one syllable in english, and all garbled titles/aspects have multiple syllables.

It can occur when two players share the same aspects of their character pre-entry, and the game is then forced to pull out a thesaurus and try and make them both mean the same thing. The replacement word is then shoved bloodily into the hole of a single-syllable word and the bloodied mess is what's left of your title.

Garbled titles work fine, once you start to figure out what the hell they actually are. The most tried-and-true method I personally know of is explained below.

 

Cussword Puzzle

Man, carapaces and consorts sure do like to pun, don't they? With every groan and weak chuckle you give out the little buggers just keep piling more and more onto you until you collapse from bad joke overload and are crushed to death by bad humour.

This awful behaviour actually has its good side, which you've probably figured out by now. Yup, they'll say the same pronunciation of the cussword when making puns about your title and aspect. This isn't too much good unless you're a hero of Sound (or Noise or Louditude or Static or Aural Orgasms or whatever), but there is a solution.

Alchemise the following: A book-like object or the script to a play, either the Sburb server disc (intellibeam laserstation required) or the Gristtorrent disc, and then mix that concoction with a kindle or e-reader device.

That will drop the 'Dialougelog' into your list of echeladder rewards, which allows you to remember every spoken conversation you've had from any computer you own. Ask your sprite (if they're still around) what your title is and then search that term for puns.

Then all you have to do is puzzle out what cussword matches your title and you've solved the puzzle, good job well done now you can stop feeling like a special snowflake and play the game like normal.

 

'Helpful' NPCs

Alright so maybe I got a bit snippy there. Here's a few carapaces who have easily identifiable puns:

edit: added search terms. (D) = dersite (p) = prospitian L() = land (J) = that fucking jackass

Draconian Dignitary (D): This dude HATES puns but still slips up and uses them occasionally. Any time you notice him swear under his breath and come up with a hasty replacement word, mark down the replacement.

Your Consort Leader (L): Remember the old guy who said you were the prophecised hero? Go pester them for a while until they keep saying the same thing over again, they should mention two to four puns.

Courtyard Droll (D): This guy is a doofus. He'll try to overload you with puns, but keep your cool and you should be able to make some sense out of his frantic mumbling.

That one jerk player (J): You know the one I'm talking about. Check your chatlogs, if they keep smacking the keyboard in the same elaborate typo setting just ask them to rephrase whatever stupid pun they were thinking of and you should get a hint.

Endearing Guardian (P): She's the nice guy guarding the royal kitchens, she'll use a pet name for you when letting you sneak some choice foods.

Genius Overrotiseer (D/P): She's the head chef of both moons. Nobody knows how she moves from one moon to the other, but when she catches you stealing from the royal banquet hall (and come on, everyone does it) she'll hurl some insults at you. This is where I first noticed the glitch, actually, since I had replayed into a film major and was the !(*$@!# of Stage.


End file.
